Ellwood is a sponge. He soaks up everything around him, processing it and coming to conclusions which are sometimes right and sometimes off the wall. It usually occurs in the car, when we’re listening to the radio. I generally zone out when the radio is on, not thinking too hard about anything in particular. Not so with Ellwood. We have heard such comments as: ‘How many people died?’ (Click, radio off) ‘I’m strong enough to be her man.’ (Listening to a Sheryl Crowe song) ‘I think she is smart and can do things right.’ (After listening to a Kelly Clarkson song) So it should not have been such a surprise.
It was a fairly innocuous commercial about registering for a study of children’s health. From the back, Ellwood asks, ‘Mommy, how are babies made?’ Uuuuummmmm. It was a deer in the headlights moment where I could not form a coherent thought.
As a mother of two sons, I was certain of two things regarding sex education.
1- Because we have two sons, I would not be responsible for ‘the talk’ and 2- questions would not start until the boys were at least in the second or third grade. Ellwood is in Kindergarten. So his question blindsided me.
I tried to determine exactly how much information he needed and wanted.
Me: ‘Well, two people work together to make one.’ (Lame!)
Ellwood: ‘Yes but how?’
Me: (Searching my brain for an appropriate answer and not finding any…) ‘How about you ask me later today if you’re still curious. It’s a bit complicated. ‘Kay?’
Ok, so it was a parenting FAIL, but I now have a plan. It’s called ‘evade and dodge.’ I plan to tell him all about the fetus growing inside of mommies and hope that the detail I give him there will overwhelm his need to know how it got there in the first place. If that doesn’t work, I’m sending him to his daddy.