This is gonna take a while: Part I


Why? How? What? I don't want to answer that...

Ellwood is a sponge. He soaks up everything around him, processing it and coming to conclusions which are sometimes right and sometimes off the wall. It usually occurs in the car, when we’re listening to the radio. I generally zone out when the radio is on, not thinking too hard about anything in particular. Not so with Ellwood.  We have heard such comments as: ‘How many people died?’ (Click, radio off) ‘I’m strong enough to be her man.’ (Listening to a Sheryl Crowe song) ‘I think she is smart and can do things right.’ (After listening to a Kelly Clarkson song) So it should not have been such a surprise.

It was a fairly innocuous commercial about registering for a study of children’s health. From the back, Ellwood asks, ‘Mommy, how are babies made?’ Uuuuummmmm. It was a deer in the headlights moment where I could not form a coherent thought.

As a mother of two sons, I was certain of two things regarding sex education.

sex education

Oh Lord! Help us both!

1- Because we have two sons, I would not be responsible for ‘the talk’ and 2- questions would not start until the boys were at least in the second or third grade. Ellwood is in Kindergarten. So his question blindsided me.

I tried to determine exactly how much information he needed and wanted.

Me: ‘Well, two people work together to make one.’ (Lame!)

Ellwood: ‘Yes but how?’

Me: (Searching my brain for an appropriate answer and not finding any…) ‘How about you ask me later today if you’re still curious. It’s a bit complicated. ‘Kay?’

Ok, so it was a parenting FAIL, but I now have a plan. It’s called ‘evade and dodge.’ I plan to tell him all about the fetus growing inside of mommies and hope that the detail I give him there will overwhelm his need to know how it got there in the first place. If that doesn’t work, I’m sending him to his daddy.


About Abstract Emoting

Mommy, what is it you do to make your tummy jiggly? That about sums up my life. Welcome to my blog. Enjoy your stay.
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7 Responses to This is gonna take a while: Part I

  1. Galit Breen says:

    UGH so dreading this question!! i plan on being age appropriately open but in the moment? hi, deer in headlights? it’s me, galit. i’m here! *groan* for the record, i don’t think you had a parenting fail. but i do think the question will be back (is an evil laugh inappropriate here?!) tell me what you come up with, though, b/c with three kids (2 of which are girls) i don’t think that i get to evade this one either! 🙂

    • lois72 says:

      Not sure why this comment was sent to my spam folder. Hopefully, the problem has been fixed. So far, Ellwood has not asked again. I am more or less *prepared* for it the next time. As I said- dodge and evade! I feel for you with 2 girls. I’m one of those people who get all embarrassed and stuff when the topic is broached. (Once, I told the woman I was babysitting for that she might not want to bring her kids along when she picked me up since I had to go -gasp- bra shopping. I’m such a prude!) I’ll let you know what happens after our first real talk. SO not looking forward to that!
      BTW- nice post on Scary Mommy. Loved it and shared it!

  2. Papa Joe says:

    I think two people who love each other very much and want a child to share their love with have a special, secret kind of hug. That’s what does it!

  3. Mom says:

    Knowing Ellwood he’ll want all the details. I hope you will include love and feelings along with the technical facts. Good luck.

  4. tuckba says:

    Haha! This is priceless! Ellwood is so smart! I’ve got some age-appropriate sex education materials if you are interested. 😉

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